Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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