i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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