i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
