i think my tv is drunk
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Sext me about skeletons
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
