I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
