you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
50% drunk capacity currently
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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