Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
