That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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