I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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