Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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