Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
