Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
