All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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