nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
