weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
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