i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
