My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
