I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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