walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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