I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Pants are for mortals
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
