i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
