idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
