that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
