I heard we made out
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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