69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
