So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
