She is in my trunk
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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