It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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