do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
