I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
