I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
