You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
