I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Houston, we have a blender
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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