Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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