Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
