No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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