i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
