As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
