Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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