It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
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