one might say we're banned from that church
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
