I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
