Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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