How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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