after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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