Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
