Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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