i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
