There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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