I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
