i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
